Thursday, April 30, 2009

Our 3 very lovely girls

I really wasn't prepared for the constant looks of disappointment I get from people when they find out I have 3 girls. Like I'm crushed that we don't have a boy & the look of "poor you" is showing their empathy.
I'm already over all the jokes about 4 women in a house with pmt at the same time. And clothes bills etc.
When people say " oh no 3 girls" I reply "yes. 3 beautiful, healthy girls." the following comment is "are you going for a boy?" we are not. And what would the odds be of having a boy after 3 girls? I imagine we would have 4 girls & people wouldn't cope LOL.

Truth is I love having 3 girls. And I don't feel disappointed- I feel blessed to have them. No matter what sex they are.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Our adventures in the childrens hospital

Willow had a big, nasty and very sore lump on the top of her leg. It turned out to be an infected lymph node. No biggie right? Wrong.
This lump manged to score us a two night stay at the children's hospy and surgery!! She is on the mend and acting as though nothing has happened. But it was a bit traumatic for everyone. Here are some things I learned while in there.

-A toddler, a newborn and their mama can all fit (sort of) in a single bed.
-Keeping a toddler fasting for 24 hours while you wait for surgery is exactly as crappy as you think it would be.
-food at the cafe costs twice as much and tastes half as good as normal food
-most kids nurses are lovely and super understanding
-it would have been easier if this had happened when I was still pregnant, rather that with a new baby
-holding your trusting child down while people do things to her sucks for all parties involved
-I have great friends and family

But the main thing I learned is just how blessed we are to have 3 healthy girls.
Willow is over the worst of her illness-but there were some really sick kids there who have days, weeks, months, years and some of them lifetimes of illness and complications requiring all sorts of help and time in hospital. In comparison to that it really was no biggie.


Ahh the wonders of technology-blogging from my phone :-)

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Tannah is four!!

I can't believe that I am the mother of a 4 year old. It doesn't seem that long ago that Tannah was the baby ( I suppose it wasn't really lol) and now she just seems so grown up.
She is starting to ask a lot of questions about letters and sounds. She is so super girly it isn't funny-always dancing around and singing, usually in dress ups. She still spends a fair chunk of the day fighting with Willow-but now some of the day is spent playing with her. She has some close friends who she totally adores-and asks me about over and over again "when will we see Z & I or E??" She seems to like Harper (so far..). She loves to eat! She has just started sleeping in her own bed-in our room. She does ballet.

I love who she is and can't wait to see how she grows up.

Friday, April 10, 2009

My 2 cents on the homebirth debate.

I have largely stayed out of this debate. Why? Because what other women do with their bodies is none of my business. I am TOTALLY against the recommendations set in the recent maternity review let me add, because I believe that every family has the right to make their own choice as to where they want to birth their babies.
I know many of you scoff at the word "choice" and "information" because of the monopoly the hospitals have on birth and it's info. I'm not talking about that sort of info. Informed choice is about getting REAL information-not just taking what your OB says as gospel-or the hospital, or your GP. But also not just assuming that you will have a traumatic experience because you go to hospital. People can and do have positive hospital experiences-it is not simply "winning the lottery" as one friend was told. The difference is that these women are informed of different choices, rather that going along with policy and have lots of information and usually a support person.
Why am I in defense of hospital? I'm not. I'm in defense of women who choose to birth there. Informed, empowered women who know their rights and choices-let's face it, a powerful woman is she who bucks a system to get what she needs from it.

On the flip side if a women gathers ALL the info and chooses to have a freebirth or a homebirth it should be her right to do so. Not because of fear or one sided information that hospitals are dangerous and the only way to have a positive experience is at home. And the camp is getting more and more divided there. With or without a midwife? Do you have scans? Use a doppler? Have a doula? Did you pee on a stick or is that too much intervention? When did it become a bloody turf war between home and free birth? Informed consent for women to choose their level of care at home should give everyone the warm fuzzies, not be dividing the homebirthing masses.

So why did I choose to have a homebirth? I had a bad hospital experience-in fact a traumatic one. I went in without doing my homework and expected that it would all be roses. I gave my power away to the hospital system and came out the other end feeling cheated and abused. And yes, the hospital did a very shit job of my care and the care of my baby but I was a part of the decision making process and I really didn't know any better. I did more homework on where we were going to stay on our honeymoon than how I was going to achieve the best birth for me and my child. It is very empowering to take some responsibility for how things went (if there is responsibility to take) because that meant the next time I was in control. I gathered LOTS of information and explored all my choices. I decided that homebirth was the best choice for me, my baby and my family. I chose a midwife. I chose a couple of scans and I did, indeed, pee on a stick.

I had an amazing, ecstatic, beautiful and SAFE birth at home. I was empowered. But was it the fact that I had the information, and confidence in my choice and body or was it purely because I birthed at home? I just birthed my 3rd baby, again at home, and while the birth was different I still came away feeling empowered. I made some different choices pregnancy wise-but again I was responsible for gathering the information and I made my own choice as to what I would do.

So for me this debate isn't about who's birth is better. Elective C-section, private or public hospital, Ob or GP, birth centre, homebirth or freebirth. If you, as a woman with CHOICES do some investigation, real information gathering-not just taking the words of an OB or the stories on a website-and decide that you have made a choice where you feel you will get the best outcome for you, your baby and your family, where you feel safe and cared for, where you feel empowered and in control-then that is the decision for you and your baby.

So what I choose and what I think is right or wrong birth wise is moot. How you birth your baby is not my decision-nor is it any of my business. But be sure you have all the information and are confident in your decision-and willing to accept help where needed.

We all need to make sure a woman's right to CHOOSE is not taken away, and that she has access to good unbiased information.

Crucify me if you must

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Things I forgot about having a newborn

-They feed a lot
-one sock always seems to be missing
-they poo everywhere
-when you go to the shops people like to stop you and awwww over them
-they are very interesting to any older kids you might have
-I mentioned the feeding right?
-all the feeding makes you HUNGRY. A lot.
-bath time can be a traumatic scream fest
-they make all these cute little noises and grunts
-people give you gifts!
-you want to tell and retell your birth story to anyone who seems slightly interested
-They feed a lot ( I may have mentioned that before lol)

Friday, April 3, 2009

An outing....

So I am crap at the whole babymooning thing. I LOVE the idea of lying around on my bum and doing nothing and seeing hardly anyone but the truth is I am a very social creature who loves doing things and seeing people. Not to mention the work that 3 kids generates house wise-Luke and I have always been a team effort in that department and I'm not great at not helping out.
I also feel physically awesome. So I feel kinda like a fraud lying about. Let me add that I am aware that I have just given birth and I NEED to take it easy. My midwife reminds me of that a lot also. Bless her. Of course the sitting still that comes with feeding a new baby (and a toddler who is stoked about how much milk there is to go around) and just holding her is a lot of sitting still!
So today I decided that we would all go "down the street" to lodge my centrelink stuff so I can wait for the baby bonus to come my way -of course because homebirth is not funded much of this is going to pay for our amazing midwife.

So I left the 2 big girls and Luke at his parents shop and my new bundle and I went to wait at centrelink. She was in a pouch sling and there was much oohing and aahhhing over in the queue (the looong queue)- a lovely older gentleman even got me a chair to sit on while we waited.

I noticed the sounds of thunder far off and the sky was getting darker....then closer and darker still. Then the bloody heavens opened up and it was pouring-I mean really really teeming with rain. There was heaps of thunder and lightening and I was starting to wonder about how to get my lovely bundle and myself back to the car. I handed in my form and called Luke to pack up the big girls and come get us.
By the time he got to us we were in the middle of a full blown storm and I threw the sling over Harper's face and ran to the car. While buckling her in I got DRENCHED and both Tannah and Willow were talking a mile a minute about the scary storm. So we drove home-very slowly in poor visibility and pouring rain with traffic and water all over the road.

I was glad to be home again! It was nice to get out but I was a wee bit frazzled when we got home.

Back to bum on couch for another couple of days methinks lol.
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