In our society the norm is 2 children who are born is a hospital, vaccinated, sleeping alone as soon as possible, breastfed for a few of months, controlled with manipulation (praise or punishment), packed off to daycare, kinder, school and so on and so on. If you stray from these societal norms then you have made a rod for your own back and have no right whatsoever to complain.
I know a woman who is getting a hard time from some family members because she is having a much wanted 4th child. They are putting all sorts of pressure on her to cope no matter if she finds it difficult-because she is "so crazy" to have a "huge" family like that. Bullshit or what?
Women who choose homebirth and need medical assistance are treated with contempt when they enter the hospital system.
The response by the mainstream upon comments that breastfeeding a toddler or tandem feeding is sometimes difficult is usually shock at why you wouldn't "just" wean.
The answer to EVERY co-sleeping complaint is moving them into their own bed/room.
If your child has moments of difficulty when learning outside the school system the answer is to send them to school.
And most behavior related issues (which are usually not issues for the parents!) can be fixed with a star chart or a punishment.
No one tells a mother who is artificially feeding her baby that maybe she should relactate after multiple illnesses and stomach discomfort. They medicate the baby and never suggest that the artificial milk could be the problem. I mean they were formula fed and turned out OK.
No one suggests to a mother who had an unnecessary cesarean that maybe she should avoid the hospital altogether next time and birth at home. In fact it's usually a repeat surgery that's recommended! For safety of all things.
No one says to the parent of a school child who is not enjoying school to take them out. It's just the child adjusting or being lazy (good grief).
No one tells the parent who is trying to sleep train their baby to just put the baby in bed with them and everyone can get more sleep. They are usually told to "stick with it" and "be brave".
It is never suggested that the injury from vaccines is ever worse than the possibility of a disease. If a child is injured (or dies) then they took one for the team.
And families who choose to have two children never have heads shaken at them when they decide to have no more. Their choice is accepted, or even praised if they got *trumpets please* one of each sex.
The thing is no matter what style of parenting you choose or how many kids you have there will be days that are tough. Attachment/connected style parenting is no different. Nor is home/unschooling. The implication that "well you tried your way and it didn't work out" is insulting. The "you made a rod for your own back and now you can deal with it" is just plain infuriating. Parenting is a joy-but it can be hard at times.
Every parent deserves a sympathetic ear and a shoulder to cry on.