Thursday, June 10, 2010

Out of the mouthes of babes..


There are parts of parenting I struggle with.

The seemingly never ending mess that is my house is one thing. My quick and sometimes shouty temper is another. And over riding that little voice in my head that says to me "really? does that actually matter? Just let it go!".

Trying to parent gently and let the kids be pretty free range doesn't always come naturally to me. It's more of a goal than a 100% all the time that's the kind of awesome Mama I am thing. Little things can shit me right up the wall. Like what's with having to chop each piece of paper you draw on into confetti? Or I'm putting the washing away, you don't have to follow me back and forth through the house. And then sometimes I just want compliance dammit! I just want to be the Mum and you be the kid and do what I say. NOW! Even if it's about stupid, pointless stuff (which it usually is) and I know I'm the one being an ass. And I said I can be shouty right?

Some days it's a struggle to avoid those scenarios and I have to walk away before I get cross about nothing. Some days it's all smiles and home made play dough and we go to the park and others it's why are you drawing in my novel and gentle hands with each other and I know you don't want to leave the park but it's just time to go please. NOW. Those days can have me in a flap and it can snowball into me getting all shitty because the baby is putting the toilet roll into the toilet (even though it was probably me who left the door open) instead of just redirecting her and shutting the door.

I mean most of the things the kids do that can get under my skin are no big deal at all-it's MY issue with the mess/disorder/lateness/nudity when temperatures are cold, not theirs. And let's face it all of these activities are learning opportunities. Messy, spontaneous life lessons that I am in danger of ruining for them by being uptight about it. I need to just be more in the moment-just like they are-and worry about mess and such later.

This has been on my mind recently and I have been making an effort to just let stuff go more and think before I speak (it's so fecking hard!). Today Tannah was blowing bubbles in her cup of water and it was going everywhere. before I could help myself I said "yucko. Spit water and it's going all over the floor"
Tannah replied with

"it's only water Mum, no big deal"

I was taken aback a bit by the sound of the nail being hit on the head. I smiled.

"you know what you are absolutely right"

I kissed my little zen master on the head and left her to it. And guess what? There as about 3 drops of water on the floor. No big deal at all.


Kestrel said...

Oh Snap! What a timely and fantastic post, thank you x

anastasia_wolf said...

Yep a big me too!

Garden Pheenix said...

Oh does this resonate!

katepickle said...

You know what tho... despite you judging yourself and beratting yourself to live more in the moment (oh how I suck at that) what I think is the coolest part of this post is the fact that when Tan's pointed out that it was 'only water' you didn't climb up on your high horse and try to maintain the 'power of being the parent' and needing to always be right and in control.... you actually acknowledged that your child was right, you gave her that power and you let it go. Now that is a life lesson your kids will really appreciate!

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