Monday, March 7, 2011


Discontent is the first necessity of progress. ~ Thomas Edison

I while ago I blogged about having The Right To Complain, even when your choices differ from that of the mainstream. I sure have found the need to remind myself of this lately.

We are having what Carrie at The Parenting Passageway described as an Overwhelming Year. All 3 of my amazing girls seem to be having stuff happening that requires more of me being present and helpful. To be totally and brutally honest-sometimes it's fucking exhausting.

I'm really struggling to not feel like my life is a constant stream of requests and cleaning up mess. I'm feeling like there is not enough of me to go around and it is making me feel resentful at times. I'm not always fair or nice, though I'm trying REALLY hard. I'm tired,I'm teary, I'm not eating well and I'm spending way too much time distracting myself with Twitter .

Now to many people the answer to this is school for Tannah at the very least and perhaps kinder and daycare for the smaller two. To some the struggle of the moment shows that the whole unschooling idea isn't working for us.

This really pisses me off.

I think I'm having a hard time in spite of unschooling, not because of it. I think any family who live any sort of lifestyle have issues from time to time.

If you send your children to school it's EXPECTED that there will be an adjustment period for everyone and at that it's going to suck sometimes. Why can't I be granted the same permission to have a hard time?

I know that "this too shall pass" and I'm being pro active about finding ways for everyone to feel empowered & to find some space for me. I also know that I'm being delusional if I think home education is going to be a smooth ride the whole way. Sometimes you just have to put your seat belt on and deal with some turbulence.

I'm playing along with Owlet for Unschool Monday


Laura said...

Oh How I do Hear you!!!! and I only have two children with stuff going on! (though the third I'm growing seems to bringing up all sorts of stuff for me to go through too).

Turbulence describes it perfectly.

Thank you for your post. I think I needed to hear that it's normal to have that adjustment period and that it seems to be, unfortunately, normal that the rest of the maimstreamers don't want to give it to us.


PlanningQueen said...

I had three kids at school, one at kinder and a toddler last year and school issues made 2010 one of the hardest years of my life. It is completely different this year. You are right, all families experience issues from time to time.

Hope it gets better soon though. xx

Deb G said...

Oh Shae, I so feel for you. Turbelence is a great word for it. You definitely have a Right to Complain (I loved that blog by the way!) and a right to feel heard.

Lots of love, hugs and sympathy xxx

Anonymous said...

Yes, despite Wade being at school there is still a stream of messes and needs to be met. I often have a serious case of groundhog day!! Parenting is much harder than I ever thought it would be! No one thing works for everyone (otherwise we'd all be doing it!) Calm skies ahead I hope for you (and me!).

Missy Boo said...

My Miss 5 started full-time school this year and I increased my work hours. I often feel like there's not enough of me to go round, so for you with three children and doing the awesome task of unschooling I'm giving you full permission to complain.

I hope all the stuff settles soon and you get past the exhaustion

Sazz said...

YES!!!! I'm sure Saree will be along any minute to comment with her similar tales. Fortunately I've not run into them all that much yet. But Saree cops it all the time.

We listen to friends winge about school drop off and pick up and teachers and peers at school etc etc etc. And never say "well it was YOUR choice to send them to school! You could've homeschooled and it would be so much easier avoiding all that." But the same courtesy is not extended to us.

Lauren said...

Word. This is where we've been at too, Shae. Tough weeks where everyone needs everything all the time and the eldest is more needy than the 3mth old and there's just. no. time. for. me.. and all you hear is "oh well, you have chosen the harder path..." *eye roll*

Riding it out alongside you. x

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