Monday, October 17, 2011

The 80/20 rule

Imagine you study for a test. You have a goal and you work really hard towards it. The result comes back that you got 80%. You'd feel pretty happy right? You wouldn't quit your course and say you were terrible at it.

What if we applied this to parenting?

Now I have some pretty lofty goals and ideals when it comes to the raising of my kids. But it is not realistic to think that I will be an amazingly perfect parent 100% of the time. Perfect parents do not exist. Sadly parents who berate themselves for not being perfect are in abundance.

I live by the 80/20 rule.

It gives me breathing space to not follow dogmatic parenting styles or advice and to take the bits I like and that suit our family and leave the rest. I means I don't have to take judgement to heart because I know that 80 percent is huge-it's an absolute pass.

And I strive for 100%. I do try to be the best parent I can possibly be all of the time. I don't decide that I can be an asshole to the kids for that 20% because I'll still be winning. But I know that I can forgive myself when I don't meet my ideals.

And I think 80/20 is good for my kids.

It shows them that I'm not perfect, so they don't have to strive for perfection either. It shows them that sometimes we have to be creative or take a different path & work together to get the outcomes that we want. It shows them to forgive themselves and to try harder.

It means not following dogma or parenting through fear.

It is being Perfectly Imperfect.

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