I've seen some of my fave bloggers stripping down for the I Heart My Body campaign over at We Heart Life and I knew I had to join in.
Until recently I pretty much hated my body. I was always too fat, too short and too freckly. I have dieted and gotten into a more "fuckable" weight a number of times. And, as always, as soon as I stop starving myself/freaking out about everything I eat/taking diet pills/drinking diet shakes/exercising excessively the weight crept back on. And always with interest.
But then I discovered Health At Every Size and decided that if I focused on health rather than on being a certain weight then I could be free. I went out and bought clothes that fit and that I liked and started taking care of myself because it feels good to do so-not because I need to be a certain weight.
So here is what 102kg and a size 18-20 looks like-no filter
It's still pretty awesome right?
My amazing body has put up with all this weight cycling crap and abuse and hatred all these years and it still looks after me.
I've grown to term and birthed three babies and I've carried three babies that never saw the light of day. I breastfed for 6 and a half years.
My body has changed since having kids. I now have the "fat apron" of loose skin at the bottom of my belly and I have stretch marks. Not to mention the perkiness of my younger boobs is gone.
But I still marvel at the awesomeness of my body to make and feed a baby.
Sure, I would love to be able to walk into a shop and find cool clothes in my size and not to be constantly bombarded with media telling me my body is wrong and ugly.
But mostly, I feel pretty sexy and like the way I look.
I've just joined the gym with the intention of improving my strength and fitness. The woman who did my assessment was floored that I didn't want to be weighed and measured. So I told her my goal is to look after this body of mine. To feed it healthy foods, without being obsessive, and to keep it fit and strong.
Not to try and fit some societal cookie cutter image of what our culture has deemed beautiful.
This is me. I'm so many things and my body is just one part of that. And thinking that it's beautiful and sexy and treating it with respect encourages others to do the same.
I heart my body