Wednesday, August 31, 2011
I've been reading some of the great "Cherish Your Cherubs"posts over at Seven Cherubs and this week we're being asked to remember a special moment. I've been inspired to add one about Tannah.
There are so many posts about how easy and beautiful my homebirths were with Harper and Willow and many more posts about the trauma of my experience birthing Tannah.
I'm not sure I've ever shared the magic experience of meeting my firstborn and my own birth into motherhood.
After all of the drugs and passing out and pain and terror the time came to push. I knew that if I didn't get down to business quickly I would be wheeled into theatre because her heart rate was not good and I was unable to move to get her into a better position to be born. I pushed, they pulled.
And then my daughter entered the world.
She was screaming-I mean really howling in pain and distress. And then they handed her to me-all creamy and new and I took her in my arms.
I looked into her eyes and she stopped crying. Just like that. And it was like we had a few seconds of being in a whole other universe together. Just she and I. I can't explain it but I knew her. Like she had always been mine and I had been put on this earth to be her mother. She looked into me, it felt like she was seeing everything.
That moment was so brief as she was taken away for all of the regulation poking and prodding and as soon as she left my arms the screaming started again.
But that probably 30 seconds of holding my firstborn in my arms just after she entered the world is my most powerful memory out of all of the births of my children. My own birth into motherhood and being overwhelmed at that instant feeling of love for my daughter is a memory I will always treasure.
When Tannah was 3 my midwife who was at Harper's birth asked her if she remembered being born and Tannah replied
"It was fast and scary and it hurt a LOT-but then there was Mum, and I knew it was OK"
Seems it might be a memory in her subconscious too.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Luke got a new job which starts the week after this one finishes up. Job sounds ace with good conditions and similar pay. It's day shift but it will be permanent so we can just adjust and get used to it.
I've had an article published in an Ezine! The amazing Christie from Childhood 101 has just released Play-Grow-Learn and it's filled with great articles (including mine of course) and ideas. Check it out HERE
My parents came down to visit for 5 days. This is a HUGE deal as my Mum confronted her phobia of flying to spend time with us. And the time together was enjoyed by all.
I got my disc of pics from Little Red Photography. It is full of beautiful photos like this one.
Luke and I went out with friends for a few drinks at a pub with an 80's cover band on Saturday night. Fun times were had and Jesse's Girl was sung along to.
And Dan Murphys have given me a $50 voucher to give away for Fathers Day! You can find them HERE and on Twitter to check out beer, wine and spirits that you might like to share with your Dad (or not). Or you could just have a cheers to me for having such a great week!
Conditions of entry-
-valid to Australian residents only
-must be over 18
-leave a comment making sure I can get in contact with you either by email or twitter
-winner will be selected by random number generator on Sunday 4th of September
Good Luck! And cheers to everyone having a great week!
Friday, August 26, 2011
Happy Friday Know-It-Alls! Big thanks to everyone who has been joining in-I'm feeling the love.
If you want to join in the way to play along is to write your own Things I Know post with a link back to me (and grab the button if you want to) and link up below. Easy!
So the Things I Know this week are
-a new laptop makes a happy Shae. After years of having franken-puters and hand me downs we have finally have a brand spanking HP. HURRAH!!
-if you want to avoid a near wardrobe malfunction at the pool don't wear your old pair of nursing swimmers to do laps in. I know I don't have to draw you a picture.
-I have lost hours to Bluntcard (warning-lots and lots of swearing) and Dad Is The Original Hipster
-There is nothing like a day at the beach in the sunshine to make me happy.
-taking the time to reconnect with my girls is important.
-my flying phobic Mum and my Dad flew down to see me and the family today. It's so lovely to see them and I'm so proud of Mum for doing something that terrifies her.
So what do you know this week??
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
That day changed who I am as a person and especially as a Mother.
One of the things I struggled so hard with in the aftermath of that day was this terrible feeling of failure. Failure because it all felt so wrong and my instincts were screaming at me to not go along with all of the interventions suggested. I failed to trust myself and instead put my faith in the system-which was not best for us in our case.
When I confronted my trauma I was so angry. Angry at being treated that way and so very angry at myself for being a "good girl" and doing what I was told even when I thought otherwise. But it made me promise myself that I would do the right thing for our kids, even if it meant going against the grain and being a massive pain in the ass to other people.
When I fell pregnant a second time I knew that having a homebirth would make some people uncomfortable-but I kept my promise and didn't back down on what I knew was right for our family. Knowing that it was MY body and MY baby made me feel so much more empowered and able to make rational decisions without taking on outside agenda.
Knowing that I could choose to say a big "fuck you" to the mainstream model of parenting made it easier to make decisions regarding how we bring up our daughters. It means I know that I don't have to answer to anyone but my kids, my husband and myself. It means I am free to trust my instincts and back them up with information and support from like minded parents.
It has been especially helpful when the time came to make the decision to unschool. When I was pregnant with Willow we decided that the hospital system wasn't going to work for us so we chose not to be a part of it. The same felt right of school. The school system is not going to work for us and we could choose to opt out. So we did. I know it is a path less traveled but it is the best choice for us.
I have wondered if I had an OK birth experience if I would have just plodded along and done what was expected. If I had had nothing to prove if we would not have this amazing freedom in our lives. Would my instincts have seemed so important? So to the experience of birth trauma. I want to say thank-you
I heard this song on the radio and the chorus pretty much sums it up.
'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
Friday, August 19, 2011
Ya'll know the drill-write a Things I Know post on your blog including a link back to me and link up below. Easy peasy. Then you should go and Flog Yo Blog over at Glowless.
This week it's gonna be a little different. There are some Things I DON'T Know and need answers for and becasue you Things I Know-it-alls leave lots of comments here I want ANSWERS dammit.
So here is what I DON'T know-
-what to make my kids for dinner anymore dammit. Their food repertoire is getting smaller and smaller and they will soon be living on raw milk smoothies and roast chicken.
-why Twitter cannot do something about all the spam. IT'S ANNOYING.
-First world problems here today. whether to keep my hair short, maybe even shaving it off again
or grow it out ala 2001 (truly, I was hot right?)
-why people who have "Embarrassing Bodies" are too scared to go to the doctor in private but will have their labia/scrotum/enormous haemorrhoids filmed for worldwide TV. And why can I not look away??
-why I sit up until midnight when I could be sleeping
-why I can't get out the door before 8:30 without us eating breakfast in the car. Hmmm point above might be to blame....
So. What do you know or not this week??
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
I often get asked how we unschool? What does a day look like? Yesterday was a pretty usual sort of day for us when we don't have outside plans with friends so I decided to write it down.
About 7:30-Tannah wakes and comes in to me. This is early for us so snuggle her in with me for some extra sleep.
8:00 we're out of bed. Willow too. Kids watch some ABC kids while I get a jump on the housework. After a while Harper wakes and Luke is up at around 9. I'd like to say we have a very lovely steiner inspired breakfast complete with a verse but the reality is that we all have a different way of doing breakfast. Cereal or toast after about an hour for Tannah, cereal pretty much straight after waking for Willow and Harper starts with a snack as her feet hit the floor like nuts or yoghurt. I make a smoothie at the end of breakfast for us all to share.
10am-kids have been engrossed in lots of play. TV is on but no one is watching it. There is a game involving princes and princesses, including dress ups and some stuffed animals and plastic animals are also attending a vet clinic. There is also some art side projects going on that involve people shaped cut outs and flower stickers.I NEED to mop the floors so Luke takes the kids to the park with the puppy for an hour or so. When they get back the kids help Luke feed and water the guinea pigs and chickens and play outside in the mud kitchen.
12pm-Everyone washes up and we sit down to our main meal before Luke heads off to work. After lunch Harper watches a movie for some quiet time (I hope she'll fall asleep but she doesn't) and the big 2 pick up the vet clinic game, using bandaids. I jump on the computer for a bit. After a while the bigs come and find me and we sit up in bed and look at you tube clips of sea animals for a while. Harper joins us. Kids try and fail to get dog involved in vet game.
3pm-it occurs to me that we haven't been to the library in ages (I'm scared of the fines lol) so I ask the kids if they want to go. Resounding YES. Pick books and DVD's at the library including some ones about birds because the movie Rio has sparked their interest and a dolphin book from watching You Tube. Kids ask to stop at a different park on the way home so we do. Play until it gets freezing.
5:30pm-I start dinner for me and the girls. Kids check out their new library books and then decide to play fairies with the new stuff Willow got for her birthday. They ditch that pretty quickly and get out the puzzles and drawing stuff.
6pm-eat and the get into pjs. Put a DVD from the library on while I pack up. Harper falls asleep on the couch. After the movie finishes I sit down with Tannah and Willow and we read some books. Tannah has just discovered early readers and she reads us one as well. Tuck the bigs into bed and read from the new Rainbow Fairy book.
9pm-All kids asleep. I faff around on the computer for a while and pretend the mountain of washing isn't there. Check plans for the rest of the week-seeing another home ed family in the afternoon tomorrow, 2 separate catch ups with friends and their kids at either ends of town Thursday and have an unschooling meet up planned for Friday afternoon! Feel glad we had an easy day today.
11pm-Mama goes to bed!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Today's guest post was written by Caroline Roberts: Mum to an inquisitive toddler and the owner of Gardening 4 Kids. As an environmental educator and gardening specialist she is passionate about educating children about a healthy lifestyle and a sustainable future. You can also find her on Twitter and Facebook. As I have a tiny backyard I always appreciate ideas on ways to make more room for gardening and getting the kids involved is a bonus!
Indoor Gardening Ideas for Kids
With such cold, wet and gloomy weather lately, it can be hard to feel motivated to take the kids outdoors for some time in the garden. There are plenty of indoor gardening activities though that kids can be involved in that can help keep them engaged until the weather starts to improve.
Here are 10 indoor gardening ideas to keep your little green thumbs busy:
1. Get ready for spring by planting seeds in seed raising mix and leave them to sprout on a warm window sill.
2. Grow an indoor herb garden.
3. Decorate gardening pots with paint and beads.
4. Make a cress head.
5. Put together a feely box or bag with a range of items found in the garden – gumnuts, feathers, banksia cones, leaves, flowers, small rocks etc. Have your child close their eyes, place one of the items inside the box or bag and, using their senses, get them to guess what object they can feel.
6. Harvest some winter veggies from the garden and do some cooking.
7. Make a grass head.
8. Use some old seeds to make collages or mosaic pieces.
9. Grow some sprouts. All you need is a jar, a stocking, a rubber band and some seeds.
10. Read a book about gardens and gardening like Graeme Base’s Uno’s Garden
Monday, August 15, 2011
There is a bit of uncertainty in the Yay For Homestead at the moment. And I don't like it.
Luke's work contract is up soon and while we know he has 5 more weeks of work we don't know what will happen after. He may get moved to another similar job, or he might not. He might get some interstate work and fly in and out for a while or he might not. He might take a couple of weeks off between jobs and we might pack up the tent and have a mini holiday. Or he might go straight from one job to the new one.
He has done afternoon shift for a long time. We like afternoon shift. He gets to spend some time with the girls when they are at their best and he is home at a reasonable enough hour that his day and night doesn't get mixed up. And he gets penalty rate for working it. And we are all used to it and have a system going that we all like. That finishes in 2 weeks and I have no idea if he will have the option of that shift at the next job.
I'm an optimist. And terribly impulsive. I'm not worried that he won't find work. And I'm also open to the prospect of packing up and hitting the road for a while. I know that we as a family and a couple can do anything and that we always land on our feet.
But I hate not knowing. And I know Luke hates it more.
Watch this space for how it pans out....
Friday, August 12, 2011
Happy Friday everyone and welcome to the Things I Know linkup!
I'm just going to take a little minute to go over the house rules of linking up here.
-write your own Things I Know post on your blog
-include a link back to this post, feel free to include the button ;)
-add your link below
-it's not a rule but it's good manners to at least check out a couple of the others who link up :)
And posts that are not a Things I Know post or do not contain a linkback will be deleted.
I'm drunk with power and like being the boss so there. It's my linkup and I'll do what I want to.
We cool? Cool.
Anyhoo this week I'm telling you what I know amuses me. Funny stuff is my favorite.
Things I Know amuse me are
-plankng. Yes I'm one of those people who think people lying face down on tourist attractions etc is hilarious. Ahem.
-swearing. I find swearing makes things funnier. And check out these Beautiful Swear Words.
-Duck face. It's even funnier when I'm drunk. See any photo of me from Blogopolis.
-Finishing anything slightly dodgy sounding with the sentence "not a euphemism". For instance- "I need a sausage to put in my bread" not a euphemism.
-low brow humor movies. Anything with Will Ferrell or Seth Rogan rate highly. And the Hangover movies. And The Simpsons.
-my family. My kids and husband are forever cracking me up. We're a pretty hilarious family
-and the now thing that I think I will amuse myself with from time to time is "Barbie-rolling" it's like Rick-rolling but with those hideously earwormy Barbie songs. Like so.
So what do you know this week?
Monday, August 8, 2011
When I was a kid I was a swimmer. I used to do squad training and I was pretty good at it too. I also played netball and was always out on the roller blades.
When going out to the pub as a young adult became more important than sport I still went for a daily walk and dip in the ocean. And I used to do yoga and even had a personal trainer at the gym there for a while.
We had dogs to walk after Tannah was born and lived near the beach after Willow was born so i was always walking with a baby or two in the pram.
None of this made me thin-much to my then dismay. But I was fit.
Now that I don't diet (this post over at Fat Heffalump seems to be channeling my life and explains why) and am more interested in my health than my weight I am feeling freer to seek fitness without the goal of being some magical weight or to look a certain way.
I have found it difficult to exercise since becoming a mother to three. It's more people than I have pram seats for and my life has been pretty busy. But I have really been missing that feeling of fitness.
So I'm making my fitness part of the family to-do list and making time for me. I'm going to get back into both swimming and yoga and I'm even going to give the C25K a go.
Strength and fitness again ahoy!
Friday, August 5, 2011
Happy Friday everyone and welcome to the Things I Know linkup! If you want to join in write your own Things I Know post including a link back to me and add your link below.
This week I'm talking up my husband Luke who I've nominated as a Most mentally Sexy Dad over at Reservoir Dad.
Here is what I know about my hubster
-he's a Star Wars geek. He is longing for the day that our three sensitive to movie content girls are not terrified at the mere thought of Darth Vader. Until then he has to be content with shooing them away from his set of figurines
-he still pretends that zucchinis/rolls of foil/rulers etc are penises at the shops. And it never fails to get a laugh out of me.
-he loves spending time with his kids. When he is parenting solo he looks for fun stuff to do with the girls and genuinely enjoys their time together.
-he's handy! I come up with all sorts of DIY projects for around the house (like the kids outdoor kitchen!) and leave him to build them with little extra assistance. And then I often change my mind or have another project in the wings.
-he may have siphoned the birth pool with his mouth but he drew the line at watching me eat a bit of Harper's placenta.
- he's a self confessed bogan. He's a tradie who's favorite band is Metallica and loves cars. Not to mention his love of black jeans. And I hope he never changes.
-he's a great Dad. He is a parent to the girls as much as I am. He is a part of their lives in every way, from the decision making to the bum wiping. He's not scared of housework either, his love of the Dyson is unholy.
-he's my rock and I couldn't do it without him.
-if you know a mentally Sexy Dad why not nominate him? The competition closes on August 21.
Or you could always go and vote for Luke :)
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
When we got to see some of the photos Little Red Photography took last week I was particularly thrilled with this one. It looks so much like Willow is.
She has always been kind of ethereal and pixie like. She is such a delicate flower that absorbs all the stuff going on around her-good and bad. I often refer to her as my little eco system. But she is also a firecracker who can be so stubborn that it blows my mind. She has charisma that draws everyone in and is so affectionate.
Willow was born at home, in the water, peacefully & easily as the sun was rising on a Friday morning. Her arrival into the world bought such delight and joy.
She still has that effect on people.
Don't ever change babe xoxo
Happy Birthday kiddo
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
I developed PTSD from Tannah's birth. It has been pretty well under control for a while now, though it is never far. But I haven't had a pap smear since before I was pregnant the first time.
Until recently, every time a pap smear has been suggested to me I have had all my usual PTSD stuff happen. I can't breathe properly, I feel panicked and I start having flashbacks.
All of a sudden I feel like I'm flat on my back, passing in and out of consciousness while people are screaming and shaking me awake and telling me to PUSH while I can see an OB, with their foot on the table for leverage, pulling my baby's head so hard that I feel like it's going to come off and then seeing the vacuum with a bit of her scalp attached. All the time while I'm saying "please stop, please you're hurting me, please don't hurt my baby, wait, stop" and being ignored.
So you see my dilemma? A pap smear puts me in a similar position and I'm not sure I'm going to be able to do this without wigging out. This is the first time I've made an appointment with any intention of showing up. And I plan to do this. There may be tears but I've spoken to my GP and I know the headspace I'm in right now and I'm feeling confident.
And tomorrow Willow turns 4. Four years since I had that amazing empowering birth that made me feel like I was in control and that I was safe.
I can do this right?
Monday, August 1, 2011
-figuring out how far you hotel is from Flinders st station is advisable before deciding to walk there with your bags, dragging interstate VIP sleepover buddy Childhood 101 behind you.
-when you ask for a double Jack Daniels and coke and the barman mutters something at you and you go yeahsurewhatever check he wasn't telling you that they only had single malt or you may be drinking a $30 drink.
-Madonna's Vogue will never be the same again after dancing with Miscmum, Magneto Bold Too and Toushka Lee
-I'm not the only blogger who still has a Blogspot blog! And techies are like a dog with a fucking bone on hating on blogger.
-There were so many ace bloggers that I wanted to meet or at least say more than Hi to but the pesky conference itself got in the way of all of the sober daytime socializing.
-the Aussie blogging community contains some of the coolest, most genuine and clever people around.
-I need someone to supervise me when there are free drinks or there may be table dancing & self portrait upskirt pics taken. I pray for everyone's sake that these photos never make the interwebs.
-There was lots of great info and speakers at the conference. Looking forward to seeing lots of notes and wrap ups. I already like these one at Writing Out Loud and GoodGoog
-The weekend has been brought to you by the words overshare, not a euphemism, HOLLA, cuntbiscuit and blog.
-Go and check out the wrap up at Where's My Glow. The photo montage is hilarious, contains way too many drunken pics of yours truly including one where Reservoir Dad and I are crowned best photo. The lovely Glowless was my roomie and she will now always be my friend-she knows too much and has photo evidence.
-the conference reaffirmed that MY blog is MY space and that there is room for everyone on the internet.
-going away is super fun and I loved every minute but my heart swelled to see my family at the train stop when I got home.
Big thanks to Nuffnang for an excellent conference and Eco Toys for sponsoring me to go. Big hugs to all of my blogging peeps near and far and apologies to anyone who I may have drunk-talked at or overshared with. And if I missed you it was unintentional-too many bloggers not enough time! Bring on next year :)