Tuesday, January 31, 2012

5 Things about having 3 girls I never want said to me again


It is true that I have been blessed with 3 children. Three beautiful, amazing children. It's also true that they all have a vulva. Another sad truth that goes with having 3 kids who share the same set of genitals is that people love to make misguided and often stupid comments about it.

Stop it OK? It's annoying and sometimes offensive.

Here are my top 5 comments that need never be said to me again

1. Oh THREE girls! Your poor husband without a son. Really? That assumes that my husband cannot relate to his own kids based on their genitals and that they will never like the same things he does thus never being able to share a special bond. What a load of shit. Maybe fictional son would have been into techno and had my taste in films thus only having a penis in common with his Dad.

2.Oh THREE girls! Lucky you! Your house must be far less messy/loud/rough than if you had boys. HAHAHAHA no. Don't stereotype boys and girls into boxes of being one way or the other because that makes it hard for everyone. 

3.Oh THREE girls! But who will carry on the family name? What is this 1950? Who says they will all get married, or take their partners name. Also, who cares. A family history is far more that a surname.

4. Oh THREE girls! Nevermind, that one has short hair/likes Buzz Lightyear/kicks a ball. SHE can be your boy. People actually say shit like this.

5. Oh THREE girls! At least you know what to do and they all like the same thing. Is there a particular way to parent either sex? I parent and relate to each of my kids differently because THEY ARE ALL DIFFERENT. And I am often out of my depth on what to do. Having a vulva doesn't mean I have a subliminal understanding of other humans who share the same.

Raising kids is the same for all families regardless of the amount of kids or ratio of penis to vulva. Each child is a wonderfully unique being and the other unique relationships in that unique family mean that you cannot make assumptions based on the sexes of the kids. I feel sad that our culture is boxing in gender so much that we feel like we have to be a certain way and our kids have to be a certain way based on their genitals. It's all bullshit. So you have 4 boys and your house is indeed messy and loud-you know some families of girls are the same, as are some with 2 of each. Not all girls are into pretty things and not all boys like football.

And the next time you see a mother with 3 daughters (or sons) say "Oh THREE girls(or boys)! Oh the possibilities!"
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